So so much for 6 weeks, if I had continued I would’ve been there, but 2/3 weeks in I fell off the wagon. Some stuff happened in life, then I had no money. But I have made some changes. I went to the doctor a week ago and weighed 207 on one scale then 220 on another one the same day. I’m more inclined to believe the heavier weight because my jeans don’t fit right at the moment. I have to get another blender, but I’m starting over, and I’m gonna get back to clean eating so I can be ‘winning’ like Tamar. It really would be nice to experience not being fat at some point in my adult life.
I’ve had some weird life situations in the past few days, and have been completely ignoring the lifestyle, but I am planning to get back to it today. I definitely am discouraged, though. But I know that persistence is what will get me to my goals, not having success all at once.
Dating is one thing that makes self improvement really hard, because when it goes all wrong, it makes you feel worthless. I hate realizing that even though I’m a good person I’m invisible to 99.9% of people out there because of how I look. On one hand that makes me want to change, but on the other hand that makes me want to say fuck everybody, and do what I want, and resign to just expect to be single the rest of my life. The doctor calling me fat didn’t make me feel any better either.